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'wit' is a four letter word...

CJTees

Entered into the world of Internet sales today... But who will find me???

Coming Soon!

If I were Rodney Dangerfield!
(circa 1979)

Until Then

Until I attain the last of all uncertainties,

my inner breath will still taunt me with its youth

and only words scattered here and there,

glancing off the aches and pains of age,

will dance away, just beyond my grasp,

as well as your love

Until that final “how?” at which I comprehend

too well and too late to ever understand,

the heartfelt passion of my imagination

will remain bound and flustered by my inability

to be what I can no longer be

so well as you might deserve of me

And until that day drenches me with its finality

and humbles me with its eternal trance,

you might not know me for what I am

any better than I do – or can –

and yet you shall still be you,

embraced by what the years have not cost us.

If I Had Sense

Desperate for funds of any sort, he signed up for AdSense... only to discover that his blog was a target for old age malady advertising!!!

Russian Friends

I don't want to rush them, but they haven't been on here in six years!

What I Demented To Have Said!

Portable speed limit signs - the "You Are Going..." things...

There are several types of drivers:

1)Dorks - You know them! They're the ones who pull out directly in front of you and then proceed at 20 mph under the speed limit... until they get to that red light, which they drive right through! They either ignore that sign or don't know how to respond to it. Nothing changes! If only we could see inside their heads and figure out what - if anything - is going on...

2) Conformists - There are actually a few - a very, very few who slow down when they see these things! Being cowards, they do this even when they were already driving under the speed limit! Generally thought to be passive, they are - in fact - potentially homicidal! Try passing one! You'll never see anyone speed up from 25 to 65 so fast, especially if there's oncoming traffic! But - mind you - they always  'buckle up'... because it's 'The Law'!

3) Assholes - Thought you'd get left out, did you! Nope! But there are two types. They both, upon encountering one of these contraptions, want to speed up and see how high they can get that reading to be. But the first type is mostly tempted, rarely adding more than 10-20 mph, because there is still a part of them that knows of - and wants to do - the 'right thing'. The second group doesn't give a fuck about anybody but themselves...

Potential Solutions:

a) Junk the stupid things! The only thing they accomplish is increasing the number of rear-end collisions whenever a #1 encounters a #3 from behind..

b) Actually use them effectively - by setting up at least two of them in a row - and then shooting the ones who come to a complete stop and arresting - and permanently revoking the licenses of - the ones who crack 100 mph!

c) Turn them upside down and screw with (almost) everybody's minds...

Thank You,

and


Good-Day!

Walk the Walk

The fink sleeps

in the sunlight,

licking his

tender toes with

slithering dreams

What rare creature

is this, that understands

how to swallow contentment

without belching?

Walk the walk

step by step

in a patterned motion

so complex that

I am one with your feet.

Well...

Well...

Here we are, ready to try something new. But we're too tired and confused to figure anything new out right now.

So...

There we go, no longer able to post anything new. Too figured out to be tired and confused anymore than right now.

So... what?

The Garcia Moon

The Garcia Moon is coming,
it is half-hidden tonight as it
dances behind the rush of
clouds painting their way across
the silver sadness of the nighttime sky

The second night of August is
written within a song you can
almost feel for the fact that it
is missing, it belongs to those clouds
and that sky, its moon and its wind

There is so much of the human heart
that yearns for that which is more
than human – and so I say that
if I see it in you I will love you for it
and that will be enough – that alone

And when the ghost of love pulls
full around and lifts another gentle soul
from the face of this earth – let it be
no less special than my own, for my time
will come and I can leave only love behind

We are born of it, live our lives
around it, and all too often lose it
to distrust – so helpless. Helpless,
lonely and cold beneath a distant moon
as it watches us, watches us and wonders why

She came and she will go
asking us only what we know.

To Hell With the Poor

To hell with the poor

we’ve got a good war

we’ve got a great war to fight

To hell with the poor

we’ve got these great wars

leaving our budget too tight

Let’s take all of our poor

and send them to war

we’ll stand behind them this time

We’ll take care of the poor

we’ll just send them to war

for it’s better the wealthy don’t fight

To war with the poor!

we’ll make money and more

while saving our fortunes and hide

It’s poor against poor

the very nature of war

good fortune will leave us alive

To hell with those poor

always asking for more

what daddy done left me is mine!

So boring, these poor,

not exciting like war

where we served with a wink and a lie

‘Cause heroes aren’t poor

we're the wagers of war

who sit buffing our best parts and shine

So silly, these poor,

to march off to war

so us chicken hawks don’t have to die

To hell with you poor!

get away from our door!

go on back to your vet homes and cry

To hell with the poor!

we’d rather wage war!

so line up, you fools, and go die!

Scar

I still have a scar

on my finger,

arthritic dreams

and occasional nightmares

Cast along, beside an

ice-strewn river,

with such shallow

wraps against the cold

As seasons seem to spin

through their chaotic

rhapsodies of mind and spirit,

oblivious to their ends

I try my best to

trudge on, toward some

uncertain path, always

in fear of falling

Tripping and tumbling over

half-buried illusions of death,

fingers, like my own,

reaching up to grab hold

Or waiting to awaken me

by tapping at the

frozen windows to all

that I have ever known.

No Love Lost

Last night, while lashed to the mast,
the last sailor on Innocence
grasped at his own throat in demand of an explanation
as to what had happened to the loveliness of the lady
we had all loved

Now lost, he was last seen, standing caught in mid-thought
against the luxurious sweep of Autumn color,
vanishing behind a gust-crazed cascade of yellow leafs,
no more than one of which could ever have made it
as far as the distant sea

No love is lost.

Inspiration

Inspiration

My Favorite Magic Word

Tell the world how you want the world to feel.

By Dr. Cappy G James

Proclaim your intention to stop bitching about feeling stressed now.

It is my intention to: live a stress-less, tranquilized life.

Living a fulfilling, stress-less and tranquilized life is what our Source had in mind when we were manifesting our grandest destiny to intend to seem to find a way to have happy and joyous experiences of life on Earth, where I’ve returned to the pure, creative, blissful, nonjudgmental joy that truly is a state of joy and happiness.

When you’re in intention, you’re in your inattentive natural state—the state from which you were created—that feeling of well-being which good drink must have lent to your poor parents that fateful night. How do we return to, and access, this natural state?

The Source! You were created from that state of exuberant joy, peaceful and joyful, at peace with everything you’ve intended and everything in that state of joy you’d have intended if, in fact, you are actually here and you’d determined to match up with your thoughts, feelings, and actions in a pathway to rejoicing with the field of intention; you were created to feel fulfilled and inspired in all facets of your life, gaining freedom from anxiety and stress, in short, being happy and joyful and allowing yourself to be fully alive and to do so on purpose. This moment of your life, which you spend aligned with the all-creating universal mind of intention, is the time when you are here to fulfill the intention to be joyful and live a stress-free and tranquilized life, aware of the need to activate thought responses that match your intention but too drunk to do anything about it. You must become. This new response will become as habitual as alcohol itself, and replace your old habit, when you examine stress-producing events, of responding in stress-inducing ways. You never had a chance: Do I produce stress within me by staying here, lost in thoughts that deactivate thought itself, or do I go to work plastered so as to make this impossible level of stress a tool that will help me replace a lifetime of anxiety and stress with the habit of choosing the right brew?

One magic word: Beer!

Your emotions are a guidance system informing you of whether or not you’re feeling bad about not creating resistance to your intentions, thereby letting yourself know that you’re not connected to the power of intention to be tranquilized and stress-less, to feel good, to know you’re connected to your joyful intentions, regardless of what goes on in and around and around your head or what others expect you to feel when they point at you in your drunken stupor and laugh. If there’s a war going on in Afghanistan, you still have the option to feel good because the economy still goes further into the toilet and you - in the event of any catastrophe - have the option to feel good about flushing the blasted thing. You can feel so good! Feeling good may be an indication that you’re callous, indifferent, or cruel—it’s a choice which you'd rather not have to deal with right now! Say it out loud: I want to feel good in the morning! Then convert it to: But I intend to feel good now! Feel the stress-less-ness? Almost as good as love and respect.

Your Source is to you as beer is to your Source of Beer.

Your conditioned response is to feel bad. Many events will transpire in life which you should be aware of because these outer and inner incidents justify that response. So fuck it all and say these six magic words: I want to feel good, now! In the precise moment you do so, ask yourself if someone just died, laugh, and then try to convince yourself that feeling bad about it isn’t going to make the situation any better. You’ll discover that the only bad feeling you’ve accomplished is that old spinning thing, as you plummet back into anxiety, despair, depression, and of course, stress. Ask the drunk next to you, at that moment, what he or she thinks about all this (especially 'Intention') and you need a new set of teeth. But getting them might make you feel good!

Then you discover that blissfully wallowing in kindness and love is quite different from the bad feeling which you’ll begin experiencing when you’re in vibrational harmony with your ever-shifting emotional state, since the power of intention knows only peace, kindness, and love, as if it’s actually responding to this newly activated thought that your Source might not really be about to cut you off.

All this allows you to feel good, although it may only last a few moments, and you might go back to your previous way of processing unpleasant events: sober. Also treat that old ego-self of yours with respect, love, and understanding - remember that it’s you trying to protect your beer from your perception of its danger of being stolen by that jerk who just knocked out your teeth! Any stress signal (such as a bottle over the head) is a way of alerting you to say the five magic words Give me another beer, please. Stressing about losing the last one to someone's cranium actually gets you your attention! By joyfully repeating, over and over, the five magic words and extending love to your glass of hoppy brew, you’ll have begun the process of fulfilling your stated intention of being tranquilized and stress-less. Now you can practice activating these thoughts in the toughest of moments, like every night at 6, and before long, you’ll be living the message offered to all of us in that good book: “A Bartender’s Guide to Mixing Really Great Martinis”. The word Bartender in this near biblical reference means Source… from which you will achieve the divine assistance of the mind of one intently attending barkeep once you decide on which cocktail might not be inconsistent with that light amber color and clear, refreshing taste of the latest brew you’ve been nursing.

I assure you that your decision to feel good in this way of connecting to Spirits isn’t a different response to events. By feeling good, you become an instrument of peaceful bliss, and it’s through this channel that you become oblivious to your multiple, well-deserved, problems.

Excerpted from The Power of Intending to Stop After the First Six by Dr. Cappy G James. Copyright © 2010.