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Wednesday, December 07, 2011

What I Demented To Have Said!

Portable speed limit signs - the "You Are Going..." things...

There are several types of drivers:

1)Dorks - You know them! They're the ones who pull out directly in front of you and then proceed at 20 mph under the speed limit... until they get to that red light, which they drive right through! They either ignore that sign or don't know how to respond to it. Nothing changes! If only we could see inside their heads and figure out what - if anything - is going on...

2) Conformists - There are actually a few - a very, very few who slow down when they see these things! Being cowards, they do this even when they were already driving under the speed limit! Generally thought to be passive, they are - in fact - potentially homicidal! Try passing one! You'll never see anyone speed up from 25 to 65 so fast, especially if there's oncoming traffic! But - mind you - they always  'buckle up'... because it's 'The Law'!

3) Assholes - Thought you'd get left out, did you! Nope! But there are two types. They both, upon encountering one of these contraptions, want to speed up and see how high they can get that reading to be. But the first type is mostly tempted, rarely adding more than 10-20 mph, because there is still a part of them that knows of - and wants to do - the 'right thing'. The second group doesn't give a fuck about anybody but themselves...

Potential Solutions:

a) Junk the stupid things! The only thing they accomplish is increasing the number of rear-end collisions whenever a #1 encounters a #3 from behind..

b) Actually use them effectively - by setting up at least two of them in a row - and then shooting the ones who come to a complete stop and arresting - and permanently revoking the licenses of - the ones who crack 100 mph!

c) Turn them upside down and screw with (almost) everybody's minds...

Thank You,



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